


It's Okay If You Forget Me

by taegyuuwu



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst?, Best Friends Choi Beomgyu & Choi Soobin, Break Up, Choi Beomgyu-Centric, Established Relationship - Yeonkai, Letters, M/M, Reminiscing, fall out of love, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:21:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27957557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taegyuuwu/pseuds/taegyuuwu
Summary: When the hangout for both Beomgyu and Soobin get cancelled last minutes ends up with Beomgyu alone at the café as he takes on a memory trip of his past relationship.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Yeonjun/Huening Kai
Kudos: 16





	It's Okay If You Forget Me

It is supposed to be a hangout for both Beomgyu and Soobin, but his best friend has to cancel at the last minute because the boss of his company calls for a sudden meeting. 

Rather than go back home, Beomgyu decides to go to the nearby café that they are supposed to meet today as he’s already halfway to his destination. Maybe he can enjoy some time alone for himself. 

When he enters the café the smell of freshly baked bread and coffee hits his nose. Beomgyu went to the counter and ordered a hot americano and a freshly baked bread to go with his coffee. 

Beomgyu takes a seat near the window as he looks outside while sipping his coffee, he hears the café door open and looks for who is coming and he can't believe his eyes when he sees who is walking in. 

_Choi Yeonjun_

It has been a long time since Beomgyu saw him but what caught his attention is that Yeonjun didn't come alone. He came with a guy, maybe his boyfriend since they were holding hands. 

When he looks closer he realizes that the guy is his co-worker HueningKai, the guy that is adored by all his co-worker including him for his angel like attitude and always full of energy and smile. 

"They look perfect to each other" , Beomgyu muttered. Without him noticing a smile plastered on his face as looks at the beautiful couple. 

And just like a coincidence he heard familiar melodies and lyrics that were being played in the café. 

_Two weeks and I wait 'til the feeling hits_

_Maybe I just haven't let it sink in_

_For three years we were living together_

_Held me like you'd hold me forever_

Astrid S' s It's Ok If You Forget Me came playing on the café radio and all Beomgyu could let out is a chuckle thinking how the song fits with his past relationship as he reminisced about what happened for the past 5 years.

\-----

_Letter #1 (I'm)_

_Once, our love was magical. It was too good to be true. You showered me with a dozen roses and three boxes of chocolates even before and after the moment I said yes._

_From that moment on, you continued to woo me with your words full of sweet candies. The way you cared for me makes me feel butterflies around my stomach. The way you hug me makes me want to hug you more and the way you kiss me let me know that you need me._

_One, two, three, I lost count. I forget the things that you did when you slowly drifted away. I don't know when you started but I just realized. The once who loved me with everything he can give lost his way for me._

_And when I ask you if there is something wrong, you will turn your head sideways-left to right-right to left. I can see you wanting to speak up but there is something that holds you on._

_What is it, my love? I wanted to ask but I'm afraid you will shrug it off. I won't get angry nor shout at you. I just want you to tell me the truth. You know very well that I don't want to be kissed with a lie..._

_I promise my love, I can bear it._

_\-----_

_Letter #2 (Letting You)_

_I figured it out already but I want it coming from you even though it will put a scar on me._

_My love, it pains me knowing that you don' t love me anymore. I know because you have been avoiding me lately, no more sweet words when you talk to me. I felt that you lost interest in me. I can feel your coldness towards me no matter how much you tried to cover. The eyes that tell you are no longer in love. I hated it._

_Everytime I look at you, the eyes gather the most attention... And it is empty. I felt suffocated watching you fall out of love for me, that there are times I want to let you go but I can't. I gathered so much courage because I felt so drained._

_I can't just let you go, yet._

_\-----_

_Letter #3 (Go)_

_I have decided to do maybe the most sacrificial thing to my life. It breaks me but I don't want to break you more and suffer the most._

_We have spent three years living together but I don't want to prolong it anymore knowing the truth. I don't want those years to be tainted with emptiness and sadness right now. I would like it to be remembered as one of the best days of my life._

_My love, know that my love for you will always be the love that I will never regret. Meeting you and being with you is one of the best gifts I have ever received from above so far._

_Thank you for always being patient with me. Thank you for always keeping me calm when I'd lose my temper. Thank you for everything. I'm just really grateful that I had you._

_This love I have is not a selfish love because I am finally ready to give you the freedom to go. I have been writing this. I want to write it rather than telling you in front and feel pity for me. It may hinder you to walk away from me. I've been pondering this and I'm sure of it._

_You are free now. I am letting you go. I wouldn't get jealous if you're happy. It's okay if you forget me. Please find your happiness and enjoy everything . Take care always._

_Je t'aime même si ça fait mal ._

_Love,_

_Beomgyu_

_\-----_

_February 14,_

_Seoul, South Korea_

_As Beomgyu sat here at the bench where he can clearly see the spot where Yeonjun confessed to him before, the well known park where people bring their loved one to. Beomgyu realized that this day is probably the ironic day of his life. He can see new couples in the making and the romance everywhere but he knows what will happen today is the exact opposite._

_The park that is full of love. Couples went here to enjoy the romance brought at the park since it's Valentines day. He can hear and see couples laughing and saying sweet words to each other. 'We used to be like that'. He thought._

_His hands seemed to be sweating while he waited for the man who he had loved for three years and up to this day. Beomgyu doesn't know for how long he will love him. Maybe, he'll just wait for the time that his feelings will fade._

_Beomgyu has been here for 15 minutes and is still waiting for him to arrive. He decided to spend his time by buying coffee just around the corner to ease the cold he has been feeling. His jacket didn't help. How he wished that he wore thicker clothes._

_Right now, as he buys coffee, he doesn't know what he really feels. They haven't seen each other for one week already. After receiving the coffee, Beomgyu got back to the spot that he chose earlier and glady, no one sat there. He sipped the coffee and waited for minutes._

_Moments later, Beomgyu saw him coming and he smiled at Yeonjun immediately. 'Thank goodness, he came!' He sat beside Beomgyu and cleared his throat._

_The silence is deafening. Yeonjun looked at him and urge him to talk, instead Beomgyu pick the envelope which contains letters that he have written. Beomgyu saw Yeonjun being confused. He handed it to Yeonjun and he was about to open it when Beomgyu stopped him._

_"I gave you the letter because if I speak, I may not carry the words that I wanted to tell just like you." Yeonjun remained confused but Beomgyu continued his talk._

_"Those letters were the words I failed to say. I decided that I will let you go now." Beomgyu said with a smile painted on his face and fighting the tears that might fall whenever._

_"I don't understand". Yeonjun said._

_"You do. You just don't want to admit it. You do not love me anymore, you just stay still because you are afraid that I will get hurt. But didn't you realize that I am hurting because you do not feel the same way anymore? If we stay in this kind of relationship, we will just hurt each other more."_

_"I am the one who caused you pain. I am the only one. No one to blame but me"._

_"I will let you go because I don't want a half-baked love coming from everyone. I don't deserve it. But I really wish you happiness starting from now on."_

_"I'm sorry." Yeonjun said, Beomgyu doesn't want to hear it but he chose to keep quiet._

_"So this is the last? I am doing you a favor, isn't it? That's my gift for you for your upcoming birthday." Beomgyu said._

_"I'm sorry and thank you." Yeonjun came closer and hugged him one last time. He hugged Yeonjun as well._

_Beomgyu tapped Yeonjun at the back and stood up then bid his goodbye._

_As he turned his back, he expected that his tears started to fall but it didn't, maybe because he already expected it to happen._

\-----

Beomgyu still remembers the first week that they broke up. He finds it funny that everyone around him is comforting him even if he says that he doesn't feel sad and everyone says that he should be sad. 

He thought that maybe if he waited another week for the feeling to hit him or maybe he just haven't let it sink in. He didn't think that heartbreak would feel like this. 

Is it normal that he doesn't feel sorry for himself. He doesn't care if Yeonjun hands touch somebody else. He doesn't feel empty when he knows that Yeonjun is no longer his. 

It doesn't mean it didn't mean nothing at all, but let he'll tell what the worst is, that's the way it doesn't hurt when he wishes it did. 

The moment from everything to nothing at all and from every day to never at all. 

And now Beomgyu sees Yeonjun happy with HueningKai, both of them look so good together just like a perfect couple. 

He's happy for Yeonjun for finding the happiness that he deserves. 

He just left the cafe with a letter and a piece of cake delivered to the sweet couple wishing them a happiness and long lasting relationship. 

**Author's Note:**

> "Everyone deserve a love that is whole."  
> We deserve a love that is genuine and whole.   
> If we were to love and to be loved, we give and have it abundantly.  
> So, do not let yourself be less than you deserve.  
> Letting go is hard but staying in a relationship where one does not love you anymore is harder.  
> It will just hurt you more. 


End file.
